I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
