Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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