they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
