First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Mom said you looked used
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
