I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
