I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize