who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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