dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
