Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
