RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
