Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
