You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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