Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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