I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
