he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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