The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
