We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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