The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Please don't give away my fajitas
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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