Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
