My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
