my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
