And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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