You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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