i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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