We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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