would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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