Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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