I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize