did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize