i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i dont even know how to be here
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize