1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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