He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
