Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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