I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
