I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
