Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
