wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
