highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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