So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
