My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
