My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
