Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
