i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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