Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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