just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
