What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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