Plan B is the new Plan A
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
