I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
