Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
