Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
