Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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