if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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