found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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