If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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