Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
