I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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