my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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