just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
